Shit Tests: Why Women Test Guys They Like (And How to Pass Their Tests)

There comes a time in every man’s life when he must learn about the birds and the bees.

Early adolescence gives way to puberty, and you start to feel attraction to the opposite sex. From that point on, life becomes a race to seduce a beautiful girl.

It could be her mesmerizing face you fantasize about. Perhaps it is her eyes, hips, legs, or all the above. You just know these hardcore desires run deep, even keeping you awake at night. And you wonder how you can get her in your arms and into your bed.

Then comes a painful lesson…

Gaining access to women comes with barriers and obstacles. Female hypergamy is relentless, and you will need to at least appear to be a high-value man to catch her attention.

That’s not all though!

If you are on her radar and she considers you a formidable option, psychological tests commonly referred to as ‘shit tests’ are almost guaranteed.

Shit Test 101: The Key to Gaining Access to Attractive Women

A shit test goes something like this:

A girl shows signs of interest. You might have caught her looking at you from across the room or heard from the grapevine that she likes you. Perhaps you already talked to her, hung out with her, or slid smoothly into first base with her. The chemistry and intrigue are palpable. It should be smooth sailing from here, right?

Then come the contradictions.

She doesn’t respond to a text or takes longer than usual to respond. She attempts to change the location or time of previously arranged plans. She makes a remark that hits you in a place of vulnerability.

Welcome to the wonderful world of shit tests.

The context for shit tests will vary; they could happen at the club or at school. They could be applied by a girl you just met or a girl you have known for a while. However, the objective is always the same.

Before she dates you, fucks you, or falls in love with you, she needs to test your frame. In other words, she needs to find out if you are an alpha male or just another needy and insecure boy who’s desperate for female affection.

Every Shit Test Has Great Potential (If You Don’t Freak Out)

A stunning girl has a vast abundance of men to choose from.

With so many guys lining up for a chance to be with her, she has nothing left to do but scan for the most formidable options available.

Think about it this way.

When men look for a mate, they are looking primarily for external signs of desirability – i.e., a beautiful face, attractive body, alluring smell, wide hips, and so forth.

Women primarily want to determine where a man stands in the social hierarchy. That is why they scan for reactions and behaviors that indicate dominance, confidence, and social status.

She is in search of ‘that guy, but she can’t just ask flat out if you have a strong will, an intense drive to succeed, higher than average testosterone levels, and a loaded bank account.

Are you constantly seeking validation? Will you comply with her every request, thereby showing your lack of masculinity? Do you have authentic confidence, or are you just faking it?

These questions are the metrics by which women evaluate men (and they come as second nature).

Just as you may ‘accidentally’ or subconsciously inspect the curvature of a passing woman’s ass, she may perform a shit test without being conscious of it.

She desires you when you hold your ground and make it look effortless.

What Are the Types of Shit Tests?

There are thousands of possible shit tests and just as many acceptable responses, but confidence and dominance are always paramount.

Learn how to project confidence and dominance, and your success with women will skyrocket.

Let’s start with the basics.

Compliance Shit Test 

This is one of the most commonly used shit tests.

Will you obey her requests just to please her, even at your own expense? If the answer is yes, it means you place her values above your own.

This is not good.

Let’s say you have agreed to have dinner and drinks at a restaurant downtown. On the day you are supposed to meet up, she texts you the following:

Shit Test Example #1

Hey, I’m not feeling Sky Lounge tonight. Let’s go to Arrogant Butcher instead.

As asinine as it may seem, you should never give into a request like this.

Conceding will signal that you cannot protect your values and indicate “I am not assertive” and “I am afraid to lose your acceptance.”

Your frame is your greatest asset, and you should do everything in your power to strengthen it.

Think of Marines, CEOs, athletes, and heroic figures; they are all larger-than-life men who stood up for their values amid enormous challenges.

Regardless of profession, this is the kind of frame she wants – a strong man who won’t take shit from anybody. 

A Strong Frame Can Accomplish Anything (And Overcome Every Obstacle)

What she really wants is for you to take control of the situation and uphold your integrity.

Her: Hey, I’m not feeling Sky Lounge tonight. Let’s go to Arrogant Butcher instead.

 

You: I prefer Sky Lounge. I’ll pick you up at 8.

If she asks you to throw away her trash, kindly point her to the trash can. If she asks you to hold something, tell her she can place it on a counter or a chair.

Shit Test Example #2

Her: Can you walk over and buy me a drink?

 

You: Sure, but you buy the first round.

Of course, coming off like a dick won’t work either. It shows that her requests are affecting you emotionally.

So, respond with a playful attitude or a neutral expression every time.

Congruency Shit Test

Congruency tests are about authenticity. Are your swag, confidence, and charisma for real, or are you bullshitting?

She knows any guy can memorize clever lines and pretend to be confident, so she will pay close attention to your body language.

Do you struggle to maintain eye contact? Does the deep voice you used to begin the conversation awkwardly rise in pitch and tone when she talks back?

Flinching at questions or comments aimed at your ego will make it evident that you have a soft exterior, which means your swag is a facade. This is a major turn-off.  

Here are some more shit test examples:

• “How tall are you?” 
• “That guy over there is hot.” 
• “A real man would never do that.” 

Never Try to Qualify Yourself to a Woman (This is a Huge Mistake)

How you feel about being 5’8″ is none of her business and what turns her on about other men is futile.

When she asks how tall you are, respond confidently without missing a beat (no pause, and no stuttering), “I’m 5’8”. Then carry on like she never mentioned it.

Do not say (“I wish I was taller” or “I know, I’m kind of short” or even “I’m taller than you”).

The best response to a shit test is always the one that makes it clear you give zero fucks about the topic.

If she mentions another guy, you can say, “yeah, he has a nice ass”. Then continue with zero emotion or concern on your face.

When she questions your values, simply ignore the question and steer the conversation to another subject.

The variations are countless, but your response should always have the same objective.

Answer swiftly and confidently, in your natural tone of voice – like you don’t give a fuck.

Like everything else in life that is worthwhile, you must put in the time.

The Most Solid Advice on How to Develop Supreme Congruency

Set a goal to approach ten girls every day.

Attractive women roam freely in your neighborhood, at the post office, the grocery store, and the mall. The gym, recreational sports, coffee shops, and bars are excellent places to meet girls. If you are in college, your campus is a gold mine.

Make eye contact and say hi. If she responds affirmatively, you can go from there. If she doesn’t, no big deal. 

Your mission at this point will be to approach – not to score a date, or get a girlfriend, or even acquire a phone number. 

A girl could reject you for being on her period, having a boyfriend, being a lesbian, preferring older men, only talking to guys from her social circle, etc. 

Through immersion, rejection will become painless.

Hardcore Confidence Comes from Getting Rejected Thousands of Times

Exceptional confidence will only come after you have gotten rejected a shit load of times.

Everybody hates rejection on many levels. It’s heavy, discombobulating, and feels like death. That’s because in prehistoric times, rejection was indeed a death sentence. Being ousted from the tribe meant you were going to die a slow and agonizing death.

Dysphoric and shitty as rejection may feel, you can find solace in the fact that nature is just as cruel to the most attractive man on the planet as it is to you.

Remember: most guys will never even take the initiative to try – it’s too scary and uncomfortable. So, the very act of approaching girls will set you apart.

Learn more about approaching girls…

Life advice: Fearlessness doesn’t just happen overnight; you need to be strategic about it. Look in the mirror and decide to act even though you are afraid. It will be the best decision you ever make.

Fitness Shit Test 

Women can intuitively sense a lot of shit. Remember congruency tests? If you pass yours with flying colors, the girl will assume you are a cocky, confident, and highly sexed playboy. 

She will find this alluring, but risky too. This is where fitness tests come in.

• “You’re not my type.”
• “Do you say that to all the girls you meet?”
• “You’re too old.”
• “What are you looking for?”
• “I’m not going to have sex with you.”
• “Are you a player?”

Women want security, and she needs to feel like there is at least a chance you could provide it.

Remember: she wants a confident and dominant male who is not needy, but you can’t come off like a total man whore either. That will scare her away.

Instead, use humor to finesse your answers.

When she asks, “do you say that to all the girls you meet?” Don’t say, “Well actually I do. I said it to eight girls today already.” If you do, she will get defensive and immediately disengage.

Also, never say something along the lines of, “I’m shy and introverted. I rarely talk to girls.” Neediness is a big no-no.

Be honest but never give away too much! This is just a part of negotiating.

The Agree and Amplify Method Works in Almost Every Scenario

Give exaggerated, teasing responses.

You can say something like, “Yeah, I used that line 83 times today…… (pause with a smirk), no, I’m just kidding”.

If she comes back with, “no, but really, how many times have you used it?” You can say, “I told you. I’ve used it like 155 times in the past few days…… (pause with a smile), I’m just kidding”.

Her: “Sorry, you’re too old for me.”

You: “Yeah, I can introduce you to my grandchildren once we get to know each other better.”

Or alternatively…

Her: “Sorry, you’re too old for me.”

You: “Want to hear about my time out in Vietnam?”

Again, you are just taking what she dishes out and upping the ante to a level that makes it funny.

Keep it simple, and don’t get caught up in the bullshit.

This isn’t some movie where you memorize lines and perform with DiCaprio-Esque eloquence. If you try to pull it off this way, it will be extremely cringe.

Don’t get defensive about her shit tests. If what you say in response brings out a smile, you have performed optimally.

Re-Framing: A Simple but Powerful Technique That Will Turn the Tables

Your frame is how you see yourself in the world.

In life, you will come across simple people with ferocious frames. These individuals don’t have much and are not particularly successful but score incredibly high in confidence.

There are also wealthy individuals with weak ass frames. Despite having talent and a lavish lifestyle by most standards, they hate themselves and their life.

Developing exceptional frame control is no easy task, which is why having one will set you apart from the crowd in a variety of ways.

Let’s examine this concept a little further.

Weak frame: “I have not accomplished my dreams because I’m not smart enough and don’t have the talent.”

Strong frame “I will complete one step at a time, day after day, until I arrive at my desired destination.”

You can incrementally and systematically put yourself in a position to be victorious by taking simple actions every day to desensitize yourself to fear. 

You can re-frame your outlook on life, and you can also reframe a shit test from a woman.

When you re-frame a shit test, you are throwing the ball back in her court and indicating that your outlook on life is more durable than anything she can throw at you.

Her: “What are you looking for?”

You: “I noticed you and wanted to say hi.”

Instead of addressing the elephant in the room (the fact you are attracted to her), you are reframing by shifting the conversation to a more neutral topic.

I’ll repeat again, this is not about memorizing lines.

As you can imagine, there are endless ways to reframe.  Here are a few:

Her: “What are you looking for?”

1. I just want to meet great people and see where things go (neutral)

2. I am looking for a long-term studying partner (sarcastic)

3. Someone to make babies with (amplified)

If she is adamant about receiving a straightforward answer, continue to re-frame the shit test anyway.

Re-framing is not about being dishonest. It’s about answering in a way that gives you the best chance of passing the shit test so you can move on to the next phase.

Always be prepared to walk away with a smile.

If she will not accept your re-frames, it’s not meant to be. Get to walking and don’t look back.

Dominance Shit Test

Your girl is testing the waters to see if she can wear the pants in the relationship. 

Potential dominance tests include:

• Questioning your habits and routines
• Shaming you for spending time with friends
• Complaining about things in your relationship

Minor dominance tests (such as rearranging items at your place or planning things without your consent) can be passed by letting her know you won’t go for it.

While you can expect shit tests even in committed relationships, you should view them as major red flags if they are a recurring theme.

The Sweet Science of Dating the Finest (How to Conquer Your Fears)

Every single heterosexual woman in the entire world is much like you – tired, lonely, horny, and trying to make the most out of life while hiding her insecurities.

When sexually available, she is subconsciously hoping to get hit on by men that fall within her range of eligibility or sexual market value.

As such, high-volume approach is a high intensity game where the guys with the biggest balls take home the pretty object of affection.

With each rejection, your precision will improve while the sting steadily dwindles away. Then the odds will turn in your favor – it’s simple mathematics.

You will inevitably encounter women who are strongly attracted to you because you check a lot of their boxes.

Herein lies the secret to conquering the most desirable women on the planet.

Everything Worth Doing Is Hard (But You Should Never Settle in Life)

It’s every boy’s dream to date a girl as hot as Amy Jo Johnson, but very few guys will ever have the luxury.

Despite having all the potential in the world, they start with a bang and go out with a whimper, resigning their fates to chance after years of hoping things will just fall into place.

They settle for girls that fall into their lap, always wondering why they couldn’t snag the brunette bombshell they envisioned in their childhood.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You can radically change your game if you are willing to make incremental improvements and accept failure as part of the journey.

Overcoming Your Fears Is the First Step Towards Living an Amazing Life

It sounds cliché, but truer words were never spoken.

Understanding women is crucial, but in the end, it’s the guys with enough balls to approach that will win the ultimate reward.

The victory is in the approach and rejection is never personal.

Most people do not understand the underlying biological mechanisms associated with fear, so they do nothing to negate its negative impacts on life.

Take the first step, then the next, and just keep going. Develop a strong frame and accept rejection as a part of the game.

It will take you farther than you ever could have imagined.