How Dark Secrets of Suicide, Pain and Shame Make Life Bitter and Sweet

A few years ago, Victor Pride of BoldandDetermined.com hung up his laptop and money-printing machine to follow Jesus Christ. This year, another prominent blogger, Jon Anthony, committed suicide. 

They were both making millions a year from their online empires.

There are valuable lessons to take from tales like these.

First and foremost, do not buy into online personas. Almost all of them are fabrications designed to suck the soul out of you while transferring your energy and money to somebody else. 

Let Jon Anthony’s death be a lesson. Learn from his strengths, which were an insatiable appetite for reading and a hardcore work ethic.

Learn from his mistakes, too.  Do not fall into pretending—if you are passing through a dark time, be honest with yourself about it and seek help. 

How to Win Against Odds: My History of Fear, Anguish, and Rejection

I vividly recall waking up and asking why something felt so wrong. “I feel something bad and wrong,” I said. That day, I had woken up experiencing what I could only describe as ugly and scary.

I would later ascribe these feelings to questions such as, why is life so hard? and why is life so scary?

With no pharmacological agents to soothe my pain, I was left to study and ponder deep questions throughout my formative years.

Humans have basic desires that are applied to every moment of our lives.

1. We want approval and acceptance

2. We want to be unique or set apart

3. We want the ability to control our life and destiny 

4. We want security and safety 

5. We want oneness 

We struggle against these desires constantly. They conflict and intertwine with one another and create havoc in the psyche.

The Only Way to Master the Mind: Learn How to Manage Desires Like a Monk

When you let your emotions take over, people can control you like a puppet on a string.

Here is an example:

Anger and rage come from a desire to control. You want to get even for an offense perpetrated against you, or there is some present circumstance you feel powerless to change.

The problem is anger is an emotion that does not move you closer to your goals or desired state. It does not harm the person your aggression is oriented towards. The only person it destroys is you.

Lust does not increase your chances of acquiring the object of your affection — it only gets in the way of you making something happen. I bet you can remember a time you saw a beautiful woman and got hit with an onslaught of intense emotions, only to bow out like a coward.  

Without the unnecessary emotions, the game plan is simple. You approach and say hi. You keep your congruence and frame strong.

Everything else is out of your control.

She says no, you walk away unscathed. So, why is it that the emotions do not match up with the situation? Because our biology evolved to equivocate rejection with death.

Why Letting Go of Your Emotions Will Skyrocket Your Potential in Life

Feelings are shallow and frequently lie. They fool, trick, confuse, and make you believe things that aren’t true.

Letting go does not mean that you lose ambition.

You are choosing to reach deep inside to the place that wants to be free, not from your circumstances, but from feelings, thoughts, and judgments about your circumstances that enslave you and keep you from soaring.

This is not an intellectual pursuit, and I cannot show you how to “let go” of your feelings. I can, however, lead you to a starting point.

For winners and risk-takers, life is bumpy, awkward, and embarrassing. You will only overcome by taking action anyway and becoming comfortable with failure. 

When you feel a strong emotion, determine which desire it springs from and bring awareness to it.

Ask yourself what it would take for you to let it go. Do this over and over again, with your heart and your mind.

Stoic legends like Marcus Aurelius and Seneca mastered the art of minimizing interference and taming impulses. These men were both astronomically proficient and successful beyond imagination, yet they wrote volumes about letting go of unnecessary emotions and mental clutter.

What If Beliefs of Unworthiness Lurk in The Background?

“I’m not good enough to have a beautiful wife.”

“I’m not smart enough to start a successful business or earn a degree.”

“I’m not cool and nobody likes me.”

This too must be combatted strategically and methodically.

The remedy is to keep your chin up and fight on like a warrior, but you need to have a battle plan.  Sun Tzu said that to be successful in war one must know themselves and also know the enemy.

One of your greatest and most sinister enemies resides in your subconscious. It lurks in the background influencing your day-to-day attitudes and decisions.

InnerTalk allows you to play empowering subliminal messages while you work or rest. 

You can also learn to be a fearless son of a bitch with ferocious grit.

3 Game-Changing Books for conquering Your Fears and Giving Zero Fucks..

The thought of conquering your fears and shattering limitations is sexy, but the process is morbid and unpleasant. Going through with it despite feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy will pay massive dividends.

Your personal baggage is not yours alone. You can be sure that countless others have faced similar challenges and overcome them.

People Like You More When You Are Not a Threat to Them

Your job is to become the best version of yourself, not to be liked by people.

Nobody will ever be able to know your deepest troubles, thoughts, and emotions. And most people are dealing with their own demons.

The Bible talks about not placing your trust in people.

Let everyone beware of his neighbor, and put no trust in any brother, for every brother is a deceiver, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer.

Jeremiah 9:4

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Psalm 118:8

You will spare yourself much heartache when you expect human beings to exhibit human behavior.

If you have colossal aspirations, you must learn to forgive effectively and completely. Unhealthy anger is like microdosing poison daily.

Love the people in your life intensely, but never put your full trust in anybody.

Warning: Why Most Friends Are Not Really Your Friends

The only friend worth having is a true friend.

What is a true friend?

A friend worth having possesses the following traits:

1) They want what is best for you, and vice versa.

2) They are not looking to utilize you.

3) You enjoy being around them, and they enjoy being around you.

A real friend is a combination of these three criteria. They feel sympathy for your victories and failures. They get stressed when you struggle and feel happy when you succeed.

If a so-called friend is actively envious when good things happen to you, they are definitely not your friend. An even more glaring sign of a traitor would be displaying relief at your misfortune.

A true friend helps you build. A fake friend destroys so they can sit proudly on top of the rubble.

True friends are priceless in many ways. They help you a align with your strengths and your mission. They build you up and make you stronger. Being yourself becomes easier when you are around them.

Life is not like the movies, and you won’t make any progress doing your best Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

Progress is sexy and enthralling in the movies but grueling and dysphoric in real life.

You will need to suffer through long periods of nothingness. Remember this when you decide to pursue your highest aspirations.

You will spin your wheels and see little progress. You will lose ground and then need to fight to gain it back.

The universe is governed by laws, and this is how the universe works.

From a tiny seed inside a pinecone, sprouts a complex living organism in 300 days. Yet, you would look at it and think it was a weed. Even after 300 days, the plant is still only a miniscule fraction of what it could become.

After ten years, the small and insignificant shrub is a towering green specimen with a sturdy trunk, fortified branches, and thousands of pines.

It is often said that everything a man desires is on the other side of fear. In reality, it is on the other side of fears and years of focus and sacrifice.

You will need to find a way to oscillate between impatience in the short-term and extreme patience in the long-term.

Achieving the Extraordinary is Not a Linear Process (It takes Balls Plus Patience)

Frustration

Impatience

Feelings of not making progress

Shame

Embarrassment

Looking like a fool

Rejection

You must learn to embrace and become comfortable with them.

Things you cannot care about if you want to make big things happen:

Wanting to be smooth

Being cool

Wanting to be understood

Being emotionally comfortable

Decide what you want and formulate a plan of action. Then develop the discipline to act on the plan regardless of your feelings.

You can accomplish extraordinary feats if you purge yourself of the bullshit you learned from movies and music.

For most people, it will take 5-10 years to even gain traction.

Rule #1: Be True to Who You Are or Face Massive Consequences

We all possess strengths and weaknesses.

The only way to reach the apex of your abilities is by accepting yourself the way you are. Being yourself is an often-oversimplified concept. Accept yourself, and then work on becoming the apex of what you are capable of. 

Laser in on your life’s purpose like a sniper honing in on the enemy from a tower.

Leverage your strengths, then begin to erode your weaknesses. It will take time and work. 

Fear is encoded in your DNA as a defense mechanism to keep you alive. You must learn to decode fears, systematically hack them, and make them work for you.

BOOH — Breaking Out of Homeostasis is a blueprint for unlocking or cracking through your biology’s performance governor.

Get Out of Your Head So You Can Thrive and Help Others

Cognitive bias gets worse when the times get tough. Getting lost inside of your psyche can be a brutal experience that leaves you blind, hurting, and severely confused. 

Attractive people destroy their looks with endless plastic surgeries, and young people feel worthless and washed up.

It is a product of subconscious sabotage via media and music, as well as tunnel vision from replaying a skewed personal narrative.

The biggest bullshitters are often the loudest, and they get the most airtime; this goes for social media, television, and real life. 

The only way to clear your mind is to disconnect from these platforms and follow your mind and rationality. 

You can use them as tools, but you should never accept them as valid mediums of information transfer. 

Practical Thoughts on Sadness and Jon Anthony’s Suicide


Rest in peace, Jon.

You were young and rich. You accomplished extraordinary feats. And you had so much more to give. I hope your readers learn from your struggles, accomplishments, and mistakes.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts because of unresolved mental, psychological, or spiritual issues, read Tim Ferris’s book Tools of Titans.

Tim is a sexual abuse survivor. The man narrowly escaped a suicide attempt through sheer luck, and he has solid advice on how to walk yourself back from that place.

Unless you have forgiveness and acceptance, you are fucked no matter how much you have or what you have accomplished.

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